There’s so much chat about boundaries at the minute and how important they are for our mental wellbeing. However boundaries are so much more than just about being able to say no… although that’s a step in the right direction!
If you’re a super sensitive person or highly stressed (or distressed) our boundaries are impacted on in a sensory way. We can think of this as being how other peoples ‘energy’ impacts on us and just as importantly how our energy impacts on others. When we’re stressed our energy leaks out all over the place and this can really affect how we forge connections.
If you’re a parent you can probably recognise plenty of occasions when you’ve put yourself under pressure for things to be just right and your kids have behaved appallingly… usually that pressure is because you’re in public or elderly relatives are in the vicinity! In fact I could tell the mood of a parent or member of staff in a setting usually by how the children were reacting. Young children sometimes seem to be fueled by the energy of their environment, and this is because they’re functioning on more instinctive intuitive levels that occur before self-regulation has developed.
It may be a partner’s mood impacts on us more than it should, or our boss’s mood. Perhaps it’s a significant other who makes a comment about keeping out your way?! The friend who exhausts you because of their negativity or the well meaning parent who triggers us continually with their endless critique masked as ‘helpful advice’. All these things are about boundaries.
Whilst we dont need to become completely impervious to others changing moods, after all empathy is built on sensitivity to our environment, we can do things that help boost our capacity to manage the impact these changes.
So I’ve created a free pdf Creating stronger boundaries for you to download with a super easy mindhack to get you connected to your sensory boundary! It’s a fun one to play with and you can get your children to do the exercise too.
Hope you find it useful.